Review of 2
2 Years.
On one side of things, two years can seem like a really long time. On another side, two really isn’t that significant when it comes to the grand scheme of things. A lot can happen within this time frame. Things change.
Last year, I wrote about how I got started with photography. Since that blog isn’t on this website, I’ll summarize this really quickly. I went to go out with some of my best friends and we decided to go to the city and take pictures. (shoutout to Sean and Nick) Simple as that.
This year, let’s talk about why I even took photography on in the first place. To be entirely honest, this blog post may end up even being kinda corny because it is a topic that is a little harder to write about for me. I’ll be admitting some things that I actually don’t talk about even in private and some things that people may not even expect. Let’s break this down.
To get straight to the point, the answer is depression. The people closest to me may have known that answer, but no one really knows exactly how deep that really gets. I was depressed for about four years and I started taking pictures around the first couple months of my senior year. I actually didn’t even tell anyone about the depression until just a few months prior to the start of senior year in high school. Honestly, people really didn’t expect that of me and I guess that’s a good thing. At this point, I really just wanted to try something new that I hadn’t done before. I wasn’t playing sports anymore since I was working aside from going to school. With that, I didn’t have an outlet or any time for myself to do something that I actually enjoyed because for years, sports filled that void for me. I won’t go too deep into the details about why depression hit, but I will say that I believe not being able to play sports or have an outlet was one of the contributing factors.
Anyway, photography was my outlet to try something new. When I went with Nick and Sean, I was shooting on a point and shoot camera that was around five years old. I wasn’t really concerned about what I was shooting on, but taking pictures just felt different. When we went out, we just went around the city, walking block after block, trespassing onto roof tops, and just experimenting with different shots. The thing about photography is you can do it anywhere, with anyone, and at any time. It’s all about the creativity and there’s no pressure on how things should be done or if something should be done in a certain manner. Everyone has their own perspective and interpretation of the world around them.
I’ve fallen in love with photography over the past couple of years. In terms of the depression, it’s actually helped out a lot. I thought that I was entirely out of the depression actually. The tricky thing about depression though is that sometimes it feels like it goes away, even for months at a time. Then, out of nowhere, it hits again, sometimes even harder than the times from before. I’ve rediscovered that recently. I guess this blog post is actually me trying to come to terms with the fact that I am still depressed, even six years later from when I believe it first started. It’s crazy to think about it in terms of years because I’m only 19 and 6 is a huge chunk of that.
Even though this is sort of me coming to terms with the fact that I may still be depressed, there’s a reason for everything that I do. Part of it is me sharing my own story. The other part of it is me wanting to encourage anybody who may need help or who may be in the same boat. I know that there are people who have it way worse than I do and everyone has their own reasons for feeling the way that they do. I think that the hard part for a lot of people is acknowledging how they really feel. You can’t solve the problem without acknowledging that there is one.
Why did I continue with photography? Literally anything held the possibility to fill a void that I had in my life. Photography is just different. One way to summarize why I still take pictures comes from a quote from Dorothea Lange.
“A camera teaches you to see without a camera.”
This quote actually makes a lot of sense to me as to why I take pictures. For one thing, you pay a little bit more attention to details when you take a picture. You pay attention to the framing, the colors, symmetry, etc. When you notice all of those little details, you start to see just how beautiful things actually are. A photographer can literally make any subject interesting. I take pictures because it helps me see life in a different way and in a different light. After being depressed for six years, there’s a particular way of thinking that became embedded into my mind. Photography has helped me to fight against that. I’ve been able to realize that there’s beauty in everything that life has to offer.
Over the past two years, a lot of opportunities have come up because of photography. My first one came when my brother Christian Gong asked me to take pictures for his prom in April of 2016. That was the first one, so I owe a lot to my brother for giving me that opportunity. Since then, I’ve been able to work with so many different and great people and organizations. One of the biggest things going for me right now is working with In the Lab. It’s really the greatest thing to be able to work with basketball again, even if I’m not playing. Photography has opened so many doors for me. Because of photography, I’ve become so curious about life and my desire to learn is actually greater than it has ever been. I’m still a work in progress, but I feel I’m much further along than I thought I would ever be.
In a lot of ways, I’m actually really glad that I went through my depression. That sounds extremely weird, I know. But I actually feel like my depression gives me an advantage and I’m glad that it happened early on. I’ve learned so much and have grown so much from my depression. In no way would I ever recommend it (LOL), but it really has changed my perspective on life. It’s taught me to be grateful for what I do have and, like I said before, a lot of people have it way worse than I do. Because of my depression, I started to do a lot of different things like meditating, writing, and trying to be a better person. Even though depression sucks, things really do get better.
Here's a video that I made for a class project last semester that talks about shifting your mindset.
Moving forward for the next year, I do have some goals in mind. Two of my goals are actually life goals, but I want to try to accomplish them within the next year. One goal is to work with Adidas and the other is to work with the Warriors. If I even get one of those done within the next year, I would be ecstatic. Other than those two, in terms of goals related to art, I want to learn how to make videos, designs, and write more. My goals are really specific, but you guys only get to know those two specific goals.
If you read this, thank you. This really is just me writing whatever I’m thinking. For anyone who may need it, things really do get better. I’m not saying I’m great in any sense of the word at all, but use me as an example. It did take time, but I’ve discovered new passions, found the girl who exceeds all expectations of my dreams, and I’m happier than I’ve been in six years. Right now, I’m doing my best to travel and see the world, tell stories (mine and others’), and really just strive to be the best version of myself. If I can be an example of figuring things out, so can you.
- Jsquared
@_J.Squared
@InTheLabLifestyle